I'll never want to dirty my blog. But seems like, that's too much for me.


My heart turned cold.


Can someone walk up and show me a tiny bit of love and care, that's not doing for the sake of doing?

Can someone really think that what he/she says is actually so hurtful, that when you gonna say it to others, you will hesitate but not for me ?

Or rather, should i put it this way. Maybe they don't even see me as a human. I got feeling, just like you guys too, you know?

Can someone tells me how long more do i still need to put on this 'blur' mask?

Can someone tells me how long more do i need to act like a fool?

Can i tell you im not even myself?

Can i tell you i cried myself to sleep nowadays?

Can someone really NOT take me for granted?

Can someone appreciate me abit more, even though you assume you don't really need to?

NO. Don't even try to convince/defend yourself with reasonings. Don't even try to cover yourself with those nonsense. Oh so that's how you feeling right now?Does it even hurts? That's because...you don't even care my friends.

Im sorry , i am telling all of you , i feel so empty , and i even tried to convince myself that maybe im overseeing those things that they really did for me. But....sadly , no hard feeling, not even one , not even a small portion of it , that's abit more touching enough to stay in me. And there's no point for you to do it now.



Tonight, i cried at the staircase , 2 hours straight. How shocking, does it even happened? like how?Like? like people care.


Like....like...



so pathetic.


Like..like...


so unloved.


Like...like...


so helpless.


Like like....



no best friend, not that i will consider.



Like like....


the unloved Ishi , who ended his life .



Like like....


How he looks so perfect on the surface, but deep inside it's all hollow.



Like like....


the way he choose to end it all , just like how i want it to.



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I din expect god to actually send me 2 people into those darkest hours in my life. But, hey..thanks, those were quite some enlightenment to me.

'Guys don't cry. And when they do, they are self-pitying themselves.

And trust me bro, you don't even have time to self-pity , everything's too late. Just let go of the past, and then, move on. '

='(


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Dangshi , Gangyi , Brandon , Zhixiang , L , Nelson . That's all. No more, no less. Those who really i'll ever consider the bestest.

Dance in the rain,
TO BE CONTINUED.