There's this




unknown loneliness...



unknown emptiness...


unknown helplessness...



troubling me.



The question is, when i fall, who gonna catch me?




And why am i feeling so cold and insecure when im alone?




Issit like what people say, when you get attached for way too long and when your finally back to singlehood, you will have this healng period??



I don't know, maybe im thinking too much. Perhaps it's just the post-stress after dance. All the piles of homework, projects, and catching ups needed to be done after everything.



---------------------------------

I think i should forbid myself from sad songs whenever im alone somewhere.



Do me no good but harm.


Time to move on and stop soaking in the past...





Dance in the rain,
TO BE CONTINUED.

Tadaa!

Down with throat infection and high fever.

I CAN DIE IN PEACE. Finally settled all my work. More or less?

=)

Thanks my group for being understanding and all, especially Zen. Hahas, i know this days i can't really meet up and do work together due to dance. Best teammates to ask for man! Haa. And good luck for Daphne's operation yo. Get well soon. =))

-------------------------------------------------

I talked to Gen last night while im doing my work.

Stay strong ok?? I know it's not easy walking a life like this. =(( I feel you, and probably worst than how i can ever imagne. Stop thinking too much mum! Taking care of your body now is more important than anything else. You know it best yourself.

You still holding on those memories and believing don't you?

What if, one day, you fall? And never able to wait for that day to come? The day that someone will come back to you by your side, showing you his love again?

Chill ya? Take a step back mum. Just be more carefree and look on the brighter side of it. =) And then, you might find more reasons to smile.


Cheers Gen.

I wish i can help. And i will go back to church and pray for you. k? I never been to church for quite awhile. Heh. So yea, im sure god will protect you, he will never ever let his child suffer like that.

Smiles. =DDDDD
------------------------------------------------------

Thanks Huijing.

She came all the way down at night to pass me some stuffs to save me from my miseries.

=))) Im deeply, greatly touched. And appreciate it alot.

Thanks for walking through the disastrous night with me.

I don't think i can do it alone.

arigato gozaimasuu!

Hug*!

------------------------------------------------------
Life short, cherish every moment you live.

Don't walk a regretful life.

It might not come back before you know it.





Dance in the rain,
TO BE CONTINUED.

WE DID IT!! OUR DREAMS DID CAME TRUE!!!

TPDE PUT UP A GREAT NIGHT!!!!

=DDDDDDDDDDDDDDD





I almost cried out at the end, when we did the finale dance. I felt so touched.





All the hardwork, all the faith, all the sacrifices, it's all worthwhile. I really love TPDE to bits and pieces.





Thanks for the amazing dance exprience. It is the greatest taste of stage so far. =')





-------------------------------------------------------------





Post-Dream Concert Appreciation





Thanks all my friends and family, who came all the way down to support me last night. Im damn damn touched, seeing you guys coming together, see the growth of me, of us, of TPDE. It's kind of like a historic moment for us, because, we breakthrough! And it will not be the end, TPDE will definitely work harder and harder, give our audience, our loved ones, greater and greater performance, spread the love for dance.





Because we are a bunch of super passionate dancers. =) We love dance simply because we love the way it is!! =DD





Thanks 1B10( Darryl, Amrish, Charlene, emili and Roy) comin all the way down to support!! I just love all of you to bits!! Touch can?! Always being so supportive and watch me through concerts, performance. I can't ask for better classmates than you'all.





Thanks Peiru and her boyfriend. heh. They rushed down from YJC to watch the show =D Thank you for the amazing flower. Love it!! And dajie, catch up soon =DD





Thanks my family for coming down! Love you both, always believing and letting me reach for my dreams. Be it dancing, singing. Without ur support, i won't be standing on stage now. The light i shed, was for you both. Please feel proud of Martin. =) Thanks load for the vest!! LOL. TPDE dancers were like amazed by the vest u make for me.





Thanks Jae for coming down! My vocal sensei! I never see you after the show though! hahahas! but hope u love it, and i will definitely come back for vocal classes after Dream Concert as promised. =) So, guess we will see each other more often. Hoho, time to sing.





Thanks juniors!! hahha! I guess you guys were the main source of the crowd's cheering. You guys build the atmosphere for all of us!! We won't be soo freaking High and on Fire without you all! You guys just rocK! and i can't wait to have my GEM4 concert with you all! =DDLet's raise the standard, together. =)





Thanks Gen, Keiths and Joey, for being there for me when im having a hard time, in a state of confusion. I don't think i can breakthrough, snap out of those depressing moment without any of you!! Love all of you! Let's get even better and push TPDE on a whole new different level. ;)





Thanks Rahim our president. Without him, this show won't even be possible in the first place. He makes our dream into reality!! We might face with alot of obstacles along the way, but trust me, your a hell of a leader and dancer, and i respect you alot. =) Back in the dressing room, Gin praised that i improved alot. But i think, i won't be what im now, without you scoldin, pushing and nagging me. HAHAA. You rock!





Thanks Darren. Omg seriously he rocks. Sometime i think TPDE's in debt to him. Despite the Cui production crew, he stepped in to help us with the lighting. =D And not to forget EvenOddCrew. Omg, Jasmine's like my new idol. I like to see her dance. Very cooool!! I wish i can do hiphop like her. Heh.





And ofcs Thanks RYAN AND GIN!! They are our saviourrr!! Hhahas. I don't know what will happen if they din lend us a helping hand. To the tickets problem, the dance, the management, everything!!! THanks alotalot. =DDDD You guys are the bestt!!! =D





Lastly,





Thanks TPDE, every single of of us. WE MADE IT!! IT REALLY HAPPENED! But that doesn't come with all of us working so hard for it. Tonight, i saw everyone shine on stage, rocking the floor.








2 word, GOOD SHOW.





1 word, DOPE.





--------------------------------------------------------------


Photo time

Zilian abit before the show.

More! A photo with my new mum, Gen!! HAHA. She rocks can!?

(More Photos on Dream Concert will be up soon!!)

If a little dreaming is too risky, the only cure to it is not to dream less, but to dream more, dream all the time.

DRC ( Absentee aka cameraboy - Jonas)
WheeeeMy twin. Popper Martin and Locker Gary.
Yeah. I look Happy on that day. :) Oh well, CIAOS!

Take my pain away.

----------------------------------------------------------

Artist: Stevie Hoang
Song: Addicted

Since u went away
it's been one year two months
But it just dun seem like yesterday we were still together
Time has passed and things have changed so
Why do I feel this way
Cos you're with somebody else
And I'm with somebody else but
Whenever I think about the the love we had
It hurts so bad
Whenever I think about the love we made
I said that I'd be strong
Girl I really thought that I'd move on
But still I find myself asking


Do u still think of me like I think about u
Do u still dream of me cos I can't sleep without u
Tell me if time should make a change
Then why do I feel the same
Your love has got me addicted
Said I don't know
When I'm with a chick and hittin it girl I call your name
Said I don't know
When I be with somebody else I push them away
Tell me if time should make a change
Then why do I feel the same
I know I gotta move on but I'm so addicted to u



It's been long enough don't know why I'm still holding on
If I had a wish babe
I would turn back the hands of time
Cos u don't know what u got untill it's gone
It's the reason why I'm writing u this song
Girl I'm slippin and I don't know what to do
Girl I admit it, I'm sick over u
Damn I realised my mistake, my pride got in the way
I should have begged u to stay



Do u still think of me like I think about u
Do u still dream of me cos
I can't sleep without u
Tell me if time should make a change
Then why do I feel the same
Your love has got me addicted
Said I don't know
When I'm with a chick and hittin it girl I call your name
Said I don't know
When I be with somebody else I push them away
Tell me if time should make a change
Then why do I feel the same
I know I gotta move on but I'm so addicted to u


If u ever lost someone u truely love
Let me hear u say yeah
And if u lost someone u truely need
Let me hear u say yeah



Do u still think of me like I think about u
Do u still dream of me cos I can't sleep without u
Tell me if time should make a change
Then why do I feel the same
Your love has got me addicted
Said I don't know
When I'm with a chick and hittin it girl I call your name
Said I don't knowWhen I be with somebody else I push them away
Tell me if time should make a change
Then why do I feel the same
I know I gotta move on but I'm so addicted to u


-------------------------------------------------

Don't look back silly. =')


Dance in the Rain,
TO BE CONTINUED.

Tonight. I lost her.

It's the end.

the EMO post that i never send out.

And i guess i will just throw it out.
---------------------------------------------

15th July 2008



After Dream Concert, i'll stop dancing for awhile i guess. Not totally ofcs. I'll be there for all the Saturday TPDE training and Flair's session. But talking about competitions and non-compulsory perf, i'll think twice.



my studies' getting from bad to worst. Yes im aware of it. Second teacher to embarrass me today in MBS. Talk about me not paying attention and absent and stuffs. I admit i've been lazy and my life's out of control lately. I just don't know how to prioritize anymore when everything seems important to me. I was like, literally splitting myself into pieces, satisfy everything i need, and things that i want to do.



Yet, enough is enough. There's things that i neglect for far too long. You know...there's time i feel that dance is my subject and my course is my CCA.

I emo, because i never got the feeling of friends leaving me this strong before. When Sam and Ken isolate me during MBS (lol), i felt damn lonely, and helpless. Sorry, don't mean to ps that day. haa. And thanks for forgiving me in the end! =)) And then...when i look back....i lost everything. I have a hell lot of friends, more of the 'hi bye' kind that is....but tell me...who are those that really be there with me?



DangShi....Gangyi...Zhixiang...Peiru....nothing comes close, but where are they now? They are totally out of my life.



Where my heart will bring me??



Why i just can't find the right person, the soul mate to be with anymore?



It must be me, because i never ever reach out to them in time. They failed me, as i failed them with my busy life.



------------------------------------



I emo...because i suffered countless setbacks, failures , hits after hits, and then, suddenly, i turned weak, because i don't feel like fighting anymore. If you can dodge it, why take it head on? Yes i turned out a better person, but what if it hurt so much, it end up killing myself?



Then again, on the other hand, i don't want to give up either. Just hoping if i walk through this path with all the pain, it will shed me some light at the end of my journey.

-------------------------------------



I emo...because i don't get why this world's so unfair. Was watching a documentary on Art Central, and then it's a African girl who got a big tumour right in her face. Doctor saw opened from her mouth to extract the 3pounds tumour, and even the jaw of the girl( whole stretch of teeth) got removed from her head. Her head was like 1/4 of it cut out, and then sew back after everything's done.

I cried.



She's totally disfigured. Even if she keep her life, she must live a life with people seeing her as monster, despise her everywhere she go, and all she did was being a filial teen who helped the village with all that she could, until the tumour got onto her.

Look. I don't know what the fuck im talking. But, it's just so unfair.

Screw this world.

-------------------------------------

Im migrating to NY. Where will i be? How will things work out there? Am i gonna start all over again? Why's my life so screw up?? Why must you guys keep shifting around. It's for our own good. But oh god. It's very hard on me. Im just so tired of changing environment for a 2rd time. Trust me, it's disturbing just to think about all this.

Because, i can't see my future.

Because, i simply don't know why am i doing here now, when everything will be reduce to zero soon.


Because, i had lost my reason to live.

---------------------------------------

16th July

Do i even know how to dance?

Im losing all my confidence away.

Im feeling like some loser, some sort of failure this days.

Life's in a bloody mess, and i don't live a humanly life anymore. When im supposed to do this, yet im not. Im aware of it, yet i can't change anything. How fucked up issit. Because it's already in you, part of you.

I wonder,

If im there, will i be chosen for Suntec? 3 teams, and im not in any.

If it's a YES, im contented. But really sad because i missed out another big event, just like TBG, when i not aware of the changed audition date.

If it's a NO, ok i suck.

Issit i suck? or it's just not my kind of day?

Is i suck rite? Because that's what i believe. That's what people starts to make me believe.

Those comments, those critics. Take it positively, im willing to change, but i can't help but starting to feel lost and demoralized. Be it...popping...being hiphop..be it anything.

IM NOT GONNA GIVE UP JUST YET. But perhaps...

Maybe im not cut out to be a dancer afterall.

I should just be an ordinary average guy, no need to be dope, no need to be somebody, but smile and live a peaceful life, save me from everything.

Dance in the RAIN,
TO BE CONTINUED.

SOME OF THE MANY PHOTOS WE TOOK AS DRC! [D]ance [R]evolution [C]rew for Business AGM.

-------------------------------------------
PRE-AGM training-

DRC crew!

Jabba Wockied us!

Cartoonified DRC! Thanks to Lavone for that! It's pretty! Love it!

Actting cute.

DRC Tutting training!Fixing the studio's power point. LOL

And at the end of the day, form a circle for dinner!

-------------------------------------------

BUS AGM Actual ( 7th May 2008)

DRC!




It's been a great exprience for the past 1week of working together!

May everyone grow even more in the future. Bring dance, bring TPDE, bring ourselves to a higher level. =)



Dance in the Rain,

TO BE CONTINUED.

Today was a fucked up day.

Got embarrassed in class with her doing all the reverse psychology crap on me. But im quite aware that i well deserved it.

She is right. But one thing she said was definitely not true. If i don't have the courage, i won't even choose to continue despite it's really some sort of killer phobia for me. All i asked for is abit more time. I know she did that to make me wake up. But gosh, i already did. Don't have to give me sucha hard time you know?

Just to let you know, it's not working. And in fact, make me feel like giving up more. But i won't let myself die here. I will push on and show you something more of me.

-------------------------------------------------

Japanese paper was easy. But i don't know how to do AT ALL. Tragic.

---------------------------------------------------

I regretted. I should have just gotten myself an MC and ace the retest rather than taking it now and get a Fail.

Sometimes, maybe i should put down those pride and stubborn bravery, rush into something i know i will kill myself.

I don't know. I think i did the right thing, but a wrong decision.

This world is so contradicting.

Everyone's selfish to some extent. Why can't i be te one selfish once or twice, save myself from everything, treat myself slightly better, stop living in a world to make everyone happy, yet im not.

Dance in the Rain,
TO BE CONTINUED.