26th December 1988 HongKong Singapore
Queens, NewYork Temasek Polytechnic
Nassau College
Business major
Dancer
B.I.Crew X Ovation Crew X TPDE X Marvel Crew
dance obsessively, excessively.
"Always always always...Keep it real But never too quick to judge, my friend."
Sept 1 - School Reopens
Sept 5 - StonyBrook Visit
Sept 6 - Hangout with poppers
Sept 14 - One year
Sept 19 - Observation night
Sept 29 - Mothership Funknight 3
Oct XX - King of NY
Date / Time : Tuesday, December 22, 2009 / 12:49 PM
First white christmas.
I thought i'll be happy....
But da...
im kinda fated,
to be alone on the 26th,
like the previous 20s.
And it won't make a difference this year,
Even on my 18,
It passes,
like it doesn't exist.
Jealous know, all the birthday parties, all the cakes and candles, all the love.
I only remember getting stucked in HongKong every december and my birthday's nothing compared to grandma's, at least that how they see it. She's gonna be here in a few days. History repeats, she got the occasion, and i can just stfu n pretend.
So yea. i'll tryna be strong, and take my mind off negativities.
If imma make a birthday wish...
i wish...
"26th never come again."
Guess its never my thing, martin.
This is, the real start.
Date / Time : Monday, December 14, 2009 / 7:54 AM
Finally, left my uncle's house in Long Island for good.
And we are on our ownfrom now onwards.
Nothin' bad, i love having my own space and all.
And we have freaking 179 boxes of shipovers to digest, along with our furniture, and those that uncle gave us.
Next few days, will be stayin home to get rid of all those.
Afterwhich,
we'll be good to go.
What's next?
im not too sure myself. haa.
Dance? Driving Licence? SAT? Study? Work?
Whatever it is, i will know, in time to come.
'how i wish i can be part of recital ): '
I really miss...dancing alot.
And one more thing,
Happy 3 months goodlove. (:
A song for you, tonight.
Waddup, Shin.
T-shirt, on.
Date / Time : Wednesday, December 09, 2009 / 9:12 AM
Tryna decide, tryna decide if I really wanna go out tonight.
I never used to go out without ya', not sure I remember how to. Gonna be late, gonna be late but all my girls gon' have to wait cause'
I don't know if I like my outfit.
I tried everything in my closet.
Nothing feels right when I'm not with you.
Sick of this dress and these Jimmy Choo's.
Take em all off cause I feel a fool.
Tryna dress up when I'm missing you.
I'ma step out of this lingerie.
Roll up in the mall with something Hanes.
In bed I lay
in nothing but your t-shirt on.
In nothing but your t-shirt on.
Gonna miss ya, can't wait to kiss ya.
Gonna wrap you up in my ar-ar-arms.
Adore ya, do anything for ya
I'm gonna work you out as soon as I get home.
My baby, my lady, right now i can only send you text from a phone. Crazy, that's what you make me. Cause I don't want to go another night alone.
I know I'm not u-u-up in the club and you will never hear about me with another girl.
Got keys to my heart, you own my love.
I'll never, ever, ever, ever give you up.
And I can understand why you hate it when I'm gone.
Cause I'm so love-sick when I'm on my own.
Hold on a sec, I just got your last text.
Its a picture of you with my t-shirt on.
Its a picture with my t-shirt on.
And I can't stand to see you with my t-shirt on. Wanna walk through them doors and pull it off. T-shirt on, I can't take it no more I'm coming home.
Tryna decide, tryna decide. And I'm tryna get by, tryna get by. (Oh I) couldn't even leave my apartment. (There's a pain in my heart and I can't stop it)
Nothing feels right when I'm not with you. Sick of this dress and these Jimmy Choo's. Taking em off cause I feel a fool. Tryna dress up when I'm missing you. I'ma step out of this lingerie. Roll up in the mall with something Hanes. In bed I lay -(Baby)
Nothing feels right when I'm not with you. Sick of this dress and these Jimmy Choo's. Taking em off cause I feel a fool. Tryna dress up when I'm missing you. (Cause I miss you) I'ma step out of this lingerie. (I miss you baby) Roll up in the mall with something Hanes. In bed I lay(I'm gonna be in bed)with nothing but your t-shirt on.
Nothing but my t-shirt. Said i got nothing but your t-shirt on. Cause I wanna be close to you (Nothing but your t-shirt on) I remember when you would like to see me with nothing but your t-shirt on. (Nothing but my t-shirt on) (Hey) Nothing but your t-shirt on. Let me tell you, no (Nothing but your t-shirt on) With nothing but your t-shirt on.
And it feels right with nothing but your t-shirt on.
How sweet.
Martin.
Things, that i can't give.
Date / Time : Sunday, December 06, 2009 / 9:59 AM
What's wrong.
I've been fighting.
People said, im stupid and naive.
But i do believe in the bond.
I thought im being thoughtful and giving,
but there's so much i can't give.
Was it just a transitory moment for a change,
or was i the one being the transitory good as time goes by.
I've been running back and forth for a trace of my worth,
but im not seeing any sign of it.
:'(
How i wish,
you will still love me all the same,
despite me,
being useless,
being the one,
running in circles for you,
who cares for all the small things i could accomplish,
but never the big picture,
as a boyfriend.
How bout just,
a sweet little 'i miss you'...
Tough night to get through, Martin.
Bearing the Distance.
Date / Time : Saturday, December 05, 2009 / 11:28 AM
Dozing off, waiting silencely on skype.
Wishing,
that the status of yours will change.
It's been 3 hours.
And i don't feel like sleeping,
until i could reach you.
This is crazy,
but im too in love with you.
"Offline" to "Online" please,
Keep staring, Shin.
When the long battle drag-on.
Date / Time : Tuesday, December 01, 2009 / 6:31 AM
Today, another hopeful yet fruitless trip to iron things out.
Can't sleep last night, praying and worrying the outcome the next day.
Ended really nothing much,
just exchangin convo, walkin in circles.
Then i realised, despite all my efforts put in to find a way to get through this,
im still not making even a slight progress.
I tried every single shit that seems to give me some hope,
but nothing's helping.
It's just wishful thinking all along.
I lost all my spirit and drive to continue fightin this prolong battle.
Damn...im all worn out.
That's it.
No more of me typing emails after emails,
no more of me waiting eagerly, desperately for replies,
